Since you’ve made it clear that your mind is made up about staying in your marriage, yet you want to continue to see me, it’s time that I stop favoring you. I’ve joked that you are “grandfathered in,” since I refuse to date married guys.
Henceforth, let it be known that you will be subjected to the same rules and criteria as any other guy trying to get in my pants. Here they are:
1. Texts that don’t contain a question will not be answered. And the question must be about my general well-being or something else, not “Are you horny?”
2. No last-minute hookups. If I’m not important enough to plan ahead for, you’re not important enough.
3. No 2-hour meetings. I know a whole night isn’t generally possible, but no brief booty calls.
4. If we’re going to be Friends With Benefits, we have to be friends. That means conversations about life, family, friends, activities. On the phone.
5. If I only hear from you when you want to get laid, you’re not going to get laid (by me, anyway).
6. You have to call me if you want to see me. None of this texting stuff without talking.
7. There will be a delay between the time I hear from you and the time I respond.
I’m prepared to not answer your text or phone call if they don’t meet my criteria. Eventually I will answer because I think it’s rude not to respond. But I will tell you why I didn’t.
I remember you telling me about a woman you dated between marriages who stopped answering your calls or texts. You drove to her house — over an hour away — to see what was wrong. She dumped you.
That could happen again.
My heart is with you. Always.
To contact the author privately, use the form below. To comment on this post use the reply link.