*This note was written before The Breakup.
I think you lied to me. I know I shouldn’t be surprised, but I am.
We had a wonderful time together today. It had been over a week since we had seen one another. I got some texts that were very erotic. This morning’s said, “I want you. The need has grown exponentially over the weekend.”
During our cuddles we were chatting and you mentioned a traffic ticket you got on Friday of Memorial Day weekend. I looked puzzled, because that was the day you stayed with your friend near headquarters to golf, and then The Wife went up for the weekend. It wouldn’t have made sense for you to get a ticket in the county where you received it. It would be on your way home. And it’s not in the state where you were staying.
And you said you were in your car. Not a corporate rental.
You backpedaled and said it couldn’t have been Friday, must have been Memorial Day Monday when you were headed home. When I got home, I checked the county court system’s database. You got the ticket Friday.
You had texted me on Saturday, the day after the ticket, asking me what I was doing, and said you were at your friends’ house.
So did you really come home Friday? Why did you tell me he stayed up there? Did you drive home to pick up The Wife? Were you with someone else altogether?
I will never know. I won’t ask. I will just file it away under those things that make me uneasy about our relationship. It’s not as big as The Meltdown, but it’s still a reasonable doubt.
For the first time in a long time I felt sad today. Not because I can’t be with you. But because I know I never really will be.
My heart is with you. Always.