This site is the story of an extraordinary love that has caused immeasurable pain. Not just for the two lovers, but their spouses and families.
Written as letters to a former lover, it exists because an amazing love shouldn’t be forgotten. It also serves as a therapeutic outlet for the author and a resource for anyone who is having an affair, thinking of having an affair or suspects their spouse is in love with someone else. It’s not a self-help site. It’s just a story of one woman’s love for a man and her belief in the love they shared.
The names have been changed and the details blurred to protect the guilty. But mostly to protect their families from more heartache.
None of the posts are published in real time and they aren’t in chronological order. This is by design. It keeps it diverse for those who are reading for different reasons. It also camouflages the facts a bit, just in case someone who knows the parties runs across this site.
Regardless of the topic or category, the posts are written as notes to the Lost Lover, in first person with the author as narrator, as if she were writing or speaking directly to him. Other players in the story include:
The Wife, or TW: The Lover’s wife, who is disabled
YD, or Youngest Daughter: The Lover’s child that still lives at home
OD, or Oldest Daughter: The Lover’s oldest child, a young woman with a child of her own
OS, or Oldest Son: The Lover’s second child, a young man, a newlywed
YS, or Youngest Son: TW’s son from a previous marriage
About the categories:
Post-Breakup: Many of the notes in the category “post-breakup” were written within a short period of time after the Lost Lover stopped seeing the author when his wife confronted him with suspicions of the affair. The author is prolific when needing to express her pain.
Pre-Breakup: These posts written during the affair — most about 2 years in. A few were earlier in the relationship. Most were part of a previous blog, but have been edited to fit the theme and context of the new one. Shortly after this blog began, the author began posting these notes on Thursdays. They are titled Throwback Thursday. The asterisk (*) indicates that a version of that note was part of the previous blog. If you followed that blog and recognize the posts, the author would like to hear from you.
Music & Lyrics: Songs that remind the author of the Lost Lover, music they enjoyed together, etc. Shortly after the blog began, she started posting a different music video and song lyrics every Monday. These posts are titled Musical Monday.
Text Messages: The author acknowledges that without technology, her affair without Lost Lover probably would not have occurred and certainly could not have sustained itself or progressed without the ability to communicate privately and frequently via text message. Some of the posts recount text messages between the author and her Lost Lover and they are included in this category.
My Marriage: This category encompasses notes about the author’s marriage. It provides background as well as insight into how the affair occurred.
Your Marriage: The author’s observations about the Lover’s marriage
Relationships & Dating: These posts are about the author’s challenges dating despite being in love with a married man. Some of them generally explore dating and relationships.
The story isn’t over and how it will end is unknown. This blog, like the characters’ lives, is a work in progress. As the story progresses you will learn that The Breakup wasn’t a clean break. Both the author and Lost Lover have some hope that their relationship will continue. The name Notes to My Lost Lover remains authentic, nonetheless. He is, indeed, lost. But her heart is with him, always.
Constructive, meaningful comments are welcome by using the Reply button. All comments will be held in moderation and will be added when the author has time to review them. Those that don’t add value to the conversation will not be published or will be deleted.
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