I’ve reached a state of calm.
Recent changes in your life must be part of the “saving your marriage” grand plan. Even though you told me this week, “nothing has changed between us,” you know it’s not true. Things haven’t been the same since The Wife found out about our affair. We haven’t been as close, haven’t talked as much and definitely haven’t seen each other as often.
I think you’re trying to kick the habit — “wean” yourself from me, so to speak. You’re really trying.
It’s time for me to go.
I sent you a happy birthday e-card text yesterday and left you a voicemail on your office phone. No reply or acknowledgment to either.
I’m sorry, but we’re history. That’s unacceptable.
Today is “A Day in Infamy.” It’s the 72nd anniversary of the attack on Pearl Harbor.
It’s also been one year since I met my friend Mr. IT. You know about him, he knows about you. He and I are friends — with occasional benefits — and the only person I “date,” so to speak. We stopped for a while when I was being faithful to you. I cried on him when he tried to seduce me after The Breakup. We have adventures and good conversation. We don’t mix our social lives or our families, by agreement. We agreed to keep seeing each other until you come to your senses or either of us find love (and he — a mother for his young children).
I’ve been officially single for 13 months. I met him a month to the day after my husband left — the day I picked up my divorce agreement from my lawyer. It’s been quite a year.
It’s time for me to find real love. I’m going to see Mr. IT tonight and I’m going to tell him that, too. Sure, I will keep seeing him until I’m in an exclusive relationship, but that’s what I’m going for.
It’s really difficult. No one compares to you. I’m seriously in love with you and I love you unconditionally. That means even though you’re married. And an asshole.
But that’s not what you want from me. Sure you like it. Bask in it. You don’t get that at home and never have. You never will at the rate you’re going.
All the signs have been there for me. I got a call out of the blue from a guy I met 10 months ago. I went out with him once and then never returned his texts because he waited about 2 weeks to text me after our date. And he didn’t ask a question. I answered the phone this time. I was in a bar with friends. It was weird and awkward. He’s too young and lives in the city where I work. But it was a sign.
Then an acquaintance at the bar purposely introduced me and other single female friends to another recently-single man. Ironically I met him a few times many years ago. He owned a business my The Ex and I frequented. He lost it and the wife. Bad luck. Nice guy. Kind of weird and introverted like you.
Neither of them is a serious prospect. Neither of them measures up to you in any way.
But it’s a sign.
Time to move on.
My heart really is with you. I really do love you. I always will. But that doesn’t matter enough to you for you to acknowledge my birthday greeting. It doesn’t mean I won’t pine for you and post mushy romantic crap about you on here. I probably will even see you if you want, because you’re amazing in bed and I like to have the last word. But that’s it.
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