On Christmas Eve I looked into the sky at the star I wished upon so many times over the past four years. When I first fell in love with you, I wished that you loved me, too.
That one was granted.
Within the past year or so, I wished that you would choose to be with me. And while that seemed like it would be granted eventually — or at least you seemed to dangle that possibility often — it didn’t happen.
Then The Wife found out (or at least strongly suspected) about our affair. You dumped me. I wished you would come back to me. You did. I was back to wishing you would choose to be with me all of the time.
I set a deadline in my mind: Christmas. I told you I wanted to spend Christmas with you — but I didn’t tell you that was the deadline. I began wishing that you would be with me for Christmas.
Then the wife was onto you again. You accused me of revealing the affair to her. You said some very horrible, nasty things by text message. You said to never contact you again. That changed the way I looked at the stars. I wasn’t sure what to wish for anymore. Sometimes I wished you would be happy. Sometimes I wished you would come to your senses. Sometimes I didn’t wish at all.
On Christmas Eve I looked at the star, shrugged, said, “This is stupid, it’ s too late now.” But I wished the I-wish-you-were-with-me-for-Christmas wish.
I entertain on Christmas Day. It was the afternoon and my FWB arrived early so that we could have a romp before the guests arrived. We were in the bedroom starting to undress one another when my phone, on the kitchen counter, made a noise. He looked at me and said, “That was an email or text or something.”
I said, “Yes, it was a text. And that text tone belongs to only one person.” I powered on, although it was difficult to concentrate. Finally, as we are making the last-minute preparations for the party, I looked at my phone. I read the text. I threw my phone on the counter. He poured me a glass of bourbon and handed it to me.
Your text said:
“Merry Christmas! Hope you are doing well. I am sorry about everything. I miss you and love you … always.”
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